Educators, social workers and researchers into adolescent
behavior agree on a few simple tools parents can use to head off risky
behaviors such as speeding--and what to do if they think their children are
speeding.
Be an appropriate role model. Teens may bend under peer pressure, but
they take behavioral cues from parents first. When you drive, don't speed. No
one can undermine your authority like you can.
Sit down with your teen. Even if you can't be with them all the time,
you can let them know where you stand. A direct, face-to-face discussion
early on is essential so you can clearly set out your expectations for their
behavior behind the wheel and your responsibilities as the parent of a teen
driver. At the same conversation, clearly set out the consequences for
failing to meet your expectations. This can take the form of a written
contract--to both focus the conversation and remove arguing points later.
Some examples can be found at ipromiseprogram.com, parentingteendrivers.com,
and teendriving.com/drivingcontract2.htm.
Limit your teen's use of the car. A driver's license is nice, but you
hold the keys. Car privileges can be taken away whenever teens drive
irresponsibly. Moreover, teens speed--and are killed--most often on weekends
and late at night. Consider letting them drive during those hours only after
proving their responsibility behind the wheel. That means you'll have to do
late-night chauffeuring a little longer.
If all else fails, consider technology. Tracking devices can be bought
online ranging from GPS units to downloadable black boxes. Costs range
between $140 and $495. Experts suggest this as a last step and less
preferable than establishing and maintaining a trusting relationship with
your child.
Source: Gary Direnfeld, executive director of I Promise Program Inc;
Jennifer Filpi, senior counselor at Families and Adolescents In Recovery;
Judith Smetana, director of the developmental psychology program at the
University of Rochester.
|
|
Gary
Direnfeld, MSW, RSW - Executive Director
Interaction Consultants / I Promise Program Inc.
20 Suter Crescent,
Dundas, Ontario, Canada
L9H 6R5
(905) 628-4847
gary@yoursocialworker.com
Teen safe driving: www.ipromiseprogram.com
Parenting: www.yoursocialworker.com
Gary Direnfeld is a social worker and expert on matters of family life. He is
in private practice (Interaction Consultants), writes and provides workshops
and is the developer of the "I Promise Program" - teen safe driving
initiative. Courts in Ontario, Canada, consider Gary an expert on child
development, parent-child relations, marital and family therapy, custody and
access recommendations, social work and an expert for the purpose of giving a
critique on a Section 112 (social work) report. His opinion helps resolve
child custody and access matters. Feel free to call him for your next
conference and for expert opinion on family matters. His services include
counseling, mediation, assessment and assessment critiques.
|
