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I promise is an innovative scheme that helps take the worry out of teen driving for their parents, yet still preserves the independence teens crave and must have.

Every parent’s nightmare

Some readers, especially parents may know me from my workshop, “Raising Kids Without Raising Cane,” from local radio or TV or from articles I have contributed to the Spectator. But in case anyone didn’t notice, I concern myself with the well-being of kids.

Well now those kids I used to talk about are a little older and they are entering the most dangerous stage of growing up – adolescence.

Perhaps because my own son is moving through this stage that I have set my sights on adolescence, or maybe it is just because of having read so many tragic stories in our own community that I am concerned for the well-being of teens.

And it is driving the family car that draws my attention to them.

Not only are teenage drivers are the highest risk group for crashes, but car crashes at the hand of teenage drivers is the single greatest cause of death and permanent injury to teens across North America.

Driving is about the most nerve-wracking rite of passage for the parent of a teen.

Teens look to this rite of passage as a signal of their maturity and ever-burgeoning independence – a milestone, the postponement of which would signal weakness to their peers. A potent parent-teen dynamic lives here. At some point however, the teenage novice driver seeks to drive solo.

From a human developmental point of view, this couldn’t happen at a worse time. Adolescence is a time of spreading wings, risk taking and the belief of invincibility.

Independence from parents is paramount, yet without resources for true independence teens are caught in the bind of relying on parental resources to paradoxically flex their own might. Parents live through this dynamic, often by holding their breath and hoping for the best – a head in the sand approach.

Many feel coerced to let go the reigns of their teen’s freedom against the demands of normal adolescent development, but again, against the backdrop mixture of fear and hope. How can parents manage the dilemma of facilitating this rite of passage while affording maximum protection to their teen and community?

Driver Education has been the mainstay of parents approach to the issue of new driving training and safety. Second to that and more recently, parents rely on legislation such as graduated licensing to stipulate the rules and procedures with respect to becoming an approved vehicle operator for road use.

Interestingly though, Government of Ontario research available in 1998 and supported by previous research clearly demonstrates that while graduated licensing is effective in reducing car crashes, driver education is not.

While this appears counter-intuitive, the Government of Ontario statistics show that the likelihood of a car crash is actually 45% greater for those who have attended driver education than those who did not attend. (Graduated Licensing System Evaluation, Interim Report ’98, Ministry of Transportation – Ontario, Safety Policy Branch)

With respect to modifying teen behaviour to reduce the likelihood of harm it is generally shown that education alone is of little value. Education sounds nice and is politically acceptable but its measurable effect on adolescent behaviour is dubious.

The evidence for this comes from sexual health research, cigarette smoking research, seat belt use and the aforementioned research report of the Ontario government regarding driver education.

Sexual health of teens improves not from education alone, but when they are directly provided tools (read condoms) to reduce sexually transmitted diseases.

Smoking in teens is directly related not to education, but to the price of a package of cigarettes - too expensive and they reduce smoking.

Seat belt use is directly correlated to laws requiring their use and then to the rate of enforcement.

How does a parent ever relinquish the keys to the family car in view of this and knowing that one in four teens will have a collision? How can they even think of doing so? How do they balance their teen’s legislated rights to drive against a community obligation to provide some measure of safety? What are the obligations of parents and teens?

Enter a new initiative designed to work through this dynamic and offer an opportunity to reduce the risk associated with new teen drivers.

The I Promise Program helps parents and teens come to agreement on issues that relate most to teen car crashes. Together they discuss, negotiate and complete a parent-teen mutual safe driving contract.

The document provides the basis of a social contract between parent and teen and encourages discussion on those issues that relate most to the risk of car crashes.

To seal the contract a decal is placed in the rear window of the car that displays a toll free phone number. This enables community reports on driver behaviour. Calls are taken by a professional call center trained to weed out false reports.

Reports are mailed to only the contact person registered for the information too be managed as per the pre-negotiated terms of the contract. This makes real accountability possible.

We know that despite what may be said about the relationship between parents and teens, parents still have the most profound influence in their teens’ life.

Research from teen sexual behaviour demonstrates that those parents who discuss sexual behaviour with their teens and were clear as to their values had teens who were less sexually active. (Teen Assessment Project (TAP) a University of New Hampshire Cooperative Extension project, 1998 - 1999)

Hence the value and importance of the parent-teen contract is that it provides a tool and process for parents to negotiate responsible road use.

Hypocrisy is removed when the word mutual is added and the teen learns that the rules are just as applicable to the parent as to the teen.

This builds rapport and mutuality between parent and teen and heightens the teen’s responsiveness to the program. Both are bound by an agreement aimed to enhance safety and reduce the risk of car crashes. The program rests on the maturity of both.

When our son became licensed as an independent driver (G2) we completed the contract together and placed a rear window sticker on our family car. Now, 6 months later, there has been no reports on our vehicle and our son has thus far made it through the first 6 months as a new driver without incident.

We have had this program in development for almost two years now. During that time some 1,600 Canadian teens have died and another 60,000 have sustained injuries in teen-driver related car crashes. As we move into the new year we seek to make a difference here.

Police across Canada have welcomed this initiative, as has the Minister of Health, Allan Rock and Minister of Transportation, David Collentette. Their letters of support can be read on the programs web site: www.ipromiseprogram.com

While the program is now available directly to parents of new teen drivers, we have also been working diligently to see the program made available through insurance companies.

I am pleased to report that the Province of Ontario will be the first jurisdiction, worldwide, to have the I Promise Program made available by an insurance company, when the Dominion of Canada General Insurance Company begins distribution next month. They are to be applauded.

December is a month when many are focused on issues of safe driving. Every parent wants their teenage son or daughter to return home safely each and every time they take the car.

The I Promise Program can help and could be just the thing to help ease parents anxiety when they hand over the keys to their kids.

Contact information:

Gary Direnfeld, Executive Director, I Promise Program
20 Suter Crescent,
Dundas, Ontario, Canada L9H 6R5
(905) 628-4847

gary123@sympatico.ca www.ipromiseprogram.com